There seems to be a whirlwind of information floating around my circle of my mommy friends in regards to parenting styles and discipline. I have spent the last hour pouring over some of the info that has come up and I want to poke my eyeballs out with a fork.
It’s not that I’m against learning and reading new thoughts and ideas. On the contrary, most of the info I found was info I asked for. It’s more everybody’s desperation to be right and the lack of dealing with the heart of the issue which is the heart.
I will never forget the first time Nolan sinned against me. He was 3 months old and I had been snuggling and rocking him and making sure he was ready to go down for a nap. I put him down and he screamed, so I picked him up. Then I put him down and walked out and he screamed, so I would wait a minute and go back in and pick him up. This cycle went on for 45 minutes. The last time I went in exhausted he smiled at me and then I walked out and he screamed. Not gonna lie, I picked him up defeated and nursed him and then he played. Though he couldn’t make the moral choice, his actions clearly stated, “I WILL NOT DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO! I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO.” (All of my attachment parenting friends are hot under the collar right about now. I read your stuff and respectfully disagree, so don’t hate me for this post. Love you all!)
So this is what I want to ask; When does sin corrupt us? Because that is the root of your 2 year old spitting out her food at you. (Love you Linda!) IT’S SIN THAT MAKES OUR KIDS NAUGHTY! WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING AND TEACHING THEM ABOUT THAT EVERY MOMENT OF EVERYDAY? THEY NEED JESUS! Yeah, I just yelled. Seriously, sin is the root of what makes ALL of us say I DON’T WANT TO DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO. I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO. Sin and it’s root and causes and how we are freed from it are what we should be modeling and teaching our children. They are fearfully and wonderfully made image-bearers of the ONE TRUE GOD and yet, they are also fully black hearted sinners that need the blood of Jesus to set them free and make them new. How are we preaching the Gospel to our kids? Are they seeing Jesus in us in the way we talk, eat, pray, worship, relationship, work, play, love, discipline, resolve conflict, and just plain LIVE?
We should be more concerned with these Biblical concerns, than who wins the war of the best parental discipline and parental philosophy. I am grateful for the war. It helps me to process what might work for Nolan and what would DEFINITELY NOT work with Nolan. Ultimately God is the one that has given us our kids and made us their parents and as long as we are asking HIM to guide us in filtering the info, we are all doing a great job. Be open. Don’t choose ignorance. We can’t afford to be too tired and/or sick to not read and research all of the philosophies. There is a bigger War going on for our little ones souls and that is where us needing to preach the Gospel to them (notice I didn’t say AT them) daily is so important.
So the final question I leave you all to ponder as I will too is this: How can I preach the Gospel in a real and present way to my children today?
Linda Grosser Said:
on August 31, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I love you friend, you are such an amazing mother with a beautiful heart for your son. Keep up the good work momma! Your love and discipline of Nolan will pay off, for He is with you always and will be with your son as you teach him His ways. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the thought-provoking and challenging message that you were able to communicate with such eloquence and grace. Hugs! -Linda
Jennifer D Said:
on September 1, 2010 at 8:19 am
AMAZING!!!!! You are such an inspiration to me. I am go grateful God has brought you into my life, especially since I knew that the way I felt parenting should go (much like what you’ve written above….parenting with Grace and changing the heart not the child) was not how the world and the “parenting techniques” teach you to parent. I am amazed at how God gives you the answer for what to do next when your child is refusing to go to bed, or throwing their food off their high chair because they are mad. Its not a game of he needs held more, or set down more…its a matter of reaching the motive and the heart. Love you lady!!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!!!
Chantal Said:
on September 1, 2010 at 8:30 am
Great post! When we pray with our children at night before bed my husband and I always pray that the Lord will guide us in raising our children and that we will raise them according to His will. We feel like by including this in our prayers with them they will see that we are not parenting “our” way, we are parenting the Lord’s way and that we seek His guidance daily on how to do so. Just showing them that we do nothing alone, and that the Lord is there for us every step of our lives is a powerful lesson. I think the power of prayer in our children will grow their relationship with the Lord before they are even old enough to comprehend who he is and what he has done.
As far as different discipline methods, God didn’t make us all the same, so why would people think that one theory would work for everyone? We are pick and chooser. We choose some attachment parenting, some montessori method, we did sleep training according to Weissbluth, etc. That way we get the best of all worlds, and exactly what fits with our family. I agree that there are some things that “everyone” could adopt, like eating healthy, but that is very general and people will eat healthy in different ways.
Patty Morman Said:
on April 1, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Hi!
I think you have amazing wisdom and insight for such a young mom!
You have a lot of Truth in your thoughts that will glorify God in your life and family as you live out the practical ramifications… You are blessed to know that solid foundational truth about how we are all such little sinners! Including our adorable cute little cuddly babies and toddlers. No doubt your hubby’s time at RTS helped give you such sound Biblical doctrine at such young stage of life. Nice!